Sometimes, when we’re not paying attention, sexy goes AWOL. It sneaks away so quietly in the everyday rush of life, and it can take a random prompt to go looking for it again.
It’s something that I was recently reminded of in an interesting conversation with a very inspirational friend. This illuminating discussion started with a bold statement.
“Right, I’ve decided. I’m bringing sexy back.”
I immediately knew what she meant. And I could not agree more.
That one statement made more sense than all the ‘you are enough’ statements overlaid in serif fonts against soft-focus scenes of falling Autumn leaves or sunsets so prevalent on Pinterest.
Yes, we are all enough, just as we are. We do not need additional or external ‘work’ to be so. We should never have to fit into any pre-defined image, or feel that in our current state we are ever ‘lesser’ than what we ‘should’ be. This is a topic for a whole other post (read: rant). That being said, for today’s purposes, the ‘enough’ concept actually isn’t enough at all.
Because what this lovely meant with her random announcement – bear in mind it was a Monday morning and neither of us had downed our first coffee yet – is that every so often, it’s time to take ourselves a little more seriously. Or rather, move ourselves a little further up the priority list.
Between careers, families, friends, responsibilities and commitments, we sometimes lose ourselves in the mix. We end up skewing the hierarchy of importance so that we rank ourselves way way down the list. It’s often an insidious process, one you don’t even notice until, as was suddenly revealed in a blaze of caffeine-deprived glory, you see what’s slipped.
To be clear, it doesn’t have anything to do with external pressure to be a certain way, look a certain way, or act a certain way. It’s not that it’s directly related to appearance or style, or that it’s the same for everyone.
It is, however, about attitude. It’s a mindset. And it’s a commitment. A commitment to the little things. Little things add up to make a big difference. And the little things may sound totally superficial, and I recognise that this is in many ways a First World Problem, but that doesn’t make the impact any lighter.
When this awesome woman announced that sexy is to be brought back with a vengeance, she was not referring to ripping off Sofia Vergara’s red carpet wardrobe. Brazilian waxing appointments have not (necessarily) been booked – although whatever works in terms of attitude refreshing is to be applauded! As far as I know, pole-dancing classes have not been scheduled.
What she was referring to is the small things, the small actions we can easily take to celebrate our own general awesomeness. Things like making the time to moisturise in the morning, head to toe, because you deserve it and it feels good. Alligator legs are never going to make anyone feel sexy (apart, maybe, from actual lady alligators. Ladygators?).
For me, it’s being daring and trying a new lipstick. Wearing more colour. The leopard print heels that have been languishing on the shelf, because they simply haven’t gone with the winter-y Black Pants Staple that’ve been the go-to grab. It’s about drinking water out of an actual glass, and choosing bubbles over coffee. It’s about turning the radio up loud in the car and singing along with the windows open, and smiling at strangers.
Sexy is about being brave. And then being proud of yourself when you are. And recognising that sexy is an outlook, not a fashion look. It’s about that sparkle in your eye when you feel good about yourself. It’s the confidence to hold a gaze and walk with purpose.
It’s being nice to people because you have nothing to prove – that’s plain sexy right there.
So my newly-moisturised legs and I would like to challenge you to think about what makes you feel good about yourself. And then make sure you do it. To plagiarise L’Oreal’s tagline, you are worth it. Plus, who knows what adventures it might lead you on?
I’ll see you on the other side. I’ll buy the bubbles xxx